My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
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