i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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