LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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