Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
