We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
In other news, I just burned my penis
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
