Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
