you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize