She is in my trunk
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
