its not stalking. its research.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Randomize
