11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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