i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
