Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
