i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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