okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
