You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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