the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
