the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize
