whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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