i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
