the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
