Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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