This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
