were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
