sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
