he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
