I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
