Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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