Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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