from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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