When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
