the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
