And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize