Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
