I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
