There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
