Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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