Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
