This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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