oh god the rape fog is back!
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize