Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Randomize
