I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
