So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
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