I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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