You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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