Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
The struggles of a small town man whore
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Floor bacon is actually really good
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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