My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
