we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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