She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
