I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
