He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
