i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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