I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize