We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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