i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize