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I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
