I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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