Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
did i walk over a car last night?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
