Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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